Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
