? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize