You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
