he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
