We won't sleep together?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
