Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I want to have your abortion
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
