I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
