I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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