We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dicks are not precious.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
