I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
