I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
