My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
