That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
