I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you win again, gameday.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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