Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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