before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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