I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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