u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize