U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
