Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
