I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the condom got lost in my hair
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
