so explain again why im purple
no
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
