are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i need an iv and a liver transplant
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
