We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
