woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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