do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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