Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
