Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
honey bunches of taint.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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