It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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