I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
