I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
