1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
