I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
there is puke in my bra ... again
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
