Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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