I am spending my child support on dildos
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
