but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize