i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
