I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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