I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I puked a lego.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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