whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
