oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
