how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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