Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
