I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
