problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
