thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
