please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
