There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
