Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
