Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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