I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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