we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
