he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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