I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
