I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
