Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
