was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
