I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
