this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
