I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
