Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
