I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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