I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
