Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize