guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
