Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
