And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
