hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How's work?
Spinning.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
