I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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