Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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